April Facey Poker
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I guess this is another rant - I’m not at the point where I need meds (close), but I need to vent... There are a few things that tilt me at the table:
Odours
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Breath
So I have one of those super noses and I get grossed out by foul smells (to the point of gagging). There is this regular who plays at the Boulevard (a known donk) and I sat beside him in a tournament a month ago.I was super happy to see him at my table until I actually sat down beside him and he opened his mouth... OH MY GOD... words cannot express his breath – it was like a punch in the head, I immediately gagged in his face and tried to cover it up as morning sickness...’Wow I feel sick – I wonder if I’m pregnant again’ were my exact words (he looked at my midsection and nodded - yes, I’m now on a diet)...We were 11 handed so he was breathing down my neck the entire time.Buddy to my right was chewing gum so I asked him for a piece and then quietly asked him to offer a piece to Foul mouth on my left.Thankfully he took it – ‘Minty garbage mouth’ was less offensive for sure. I can count a few times where I’ve had garlic breath at the table (and a few silent but deadly burps), but I am the first to apologize for my foul, and eat mints/gum by the packet the entire time...
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Body
It would be nice if people regarded poker as being stuck in a crowded elevator for hours on end – we are in close proximity of each other people!! Shower, bathe, use deodorant, a ‘dab’ of cologne/perfume whatever – but smell good (or at least ‘attempt’ to smell good)... I know some cash players have marathon sessions, but if you do that kind of thing, prepare! Bring deodorant, a new shirt perhaps (maybe even fresh underwear!!)...If you’ve ever walked into a poker room first thing in the morning you know what I’m talking about!
Food
Two words – DEAD DUCK... Are you kidding me!!! We don`t all like the same food, so some food smells actually gross people out.I`m personally not a fan of the `dead duck` (I don`t want to see it, nor smell it). Tournament players generally don`t eat at the table so I`m lucky – but when I have played cash I have actually had to leave the table whilst someone mows down on a beak or two.Dinner breaks are given – take them and if you`re one of those players who wears a Depends (can`t leave your seat), eat something benign and un-offensive...
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I know we`re all poker players and in it for ourselves, but don`t be low-geine when it comes to hygiene, think of your neighbour!!
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Smell good while felting them!! J
April